Bachelor Brothers Bed And Breakfast – Bill Richardson

And year after year, in their misguided but well-mean- ing way, one of our associates manages to force a celebration on us. Altona Winkler was the mastermind of this year’s fete. I am very fond of Altona, as you may have gathered. She is a woman of many fine qualities. But sometimes she lacks firmness of purpose.

She easily falls under the influence of whatever book she happens to be reading or whatever movie she has just seen. After Gone with the Wind, she raced home determined to make a frock out of her drapes. Thankfully, she had Venetians. Altona is inclined to bend with the prevailing wind, and just at the moment, her sails are billowed with a biography of Richard Wagner. She was most taken by the descrip- tion of how, as a Christmas gift for his wife, Cosima, he engaged a small string orchestra to play outside her bedroom door.

She woke to hear the lovely strains of a piece he had written especially for her and their young son: “The Siegfried Idyll/’ I guess that Richard Wagner was able to put the touch on some pretty fine musicians. I suspect that if the only one available to him were Abel Wackaugh, he would have shelved the “Idyll” and ordered up a dozen roses and a box of chocolates.

Just before dawn on the morning of our shared birthday, we were wakened by Abel’s truly memorable bagpipe rendition of “Tie a Yellow Ribbon.” He stood in the entrance hallway at the bottom of the stairs and played for all he was worth. Exactly how much that would be, I don’t care to say. In order that nary a note be missed and every nuance be appreciated, he had also brought along a small sound system.

Waves of feedback and speaker crackle wafted upwards, support- ing the melody on their zephyr wings. I have never heard anything quite like it. Imagine our surprise! Imagine, too, the delight of our guests— all eight of them— at being similarly roused. Cosima, as I recall the story, reclined in her bed and smiled a smile of pure enchantment: as who would not, given her circum- stances?

But no one who was under our roof that morning remained prone. In fact, the hallway leading to the stairs looked like the closing scene from Casablanca; or something out of the Thurber short story “The Night the Bed Fell.”

bachelor brothers’ bed & breakfast. Copyright © 1993 by Bill Richardson. All rights reserved. Printed in the United States of America. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles or reviews. For information, address A Wyatt Book for St. Martin’s Press, 175 Fifth Avenue, New York, N.Y. 10010. Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Richardson, Bill Bachelor brothers’ bed & breakfast / by Bill Richardson. p. cm.

ISBN 0-312-17183-8 1. Bed and breakfast accommodations—Canada—Fiction. 2. Eccentrics and eccentricities—Canada—Fiction. 3. Books and reading—Canada—Fiction. 4. Bachelors—Canada—Fiction. 5. Brothers—Canada—Fiction. 6. Twins—Canada—Fiction. I. Title. PR9199.3.R467B33 1996 813*.54—dc20 96-8480 CIP First published in Canada by Douglas & Mclntyre First A Wyatt Book for St. Martin’s Press Paperback Edition: September 1997 10 98765432 1 To my parents, and to those who arefound where there is said to be nobody, this book is fondly dedicated Contents Prologue: Getting There i Virgil: A Little Bit More About Us 4 Brief Lives: Helen 9 Hector: The Coming and Staying of Waffle and Mrs. Rochester 13 Brief Lives: Alice 17 Virgil: Our Patrimony 20 The Top Ten Authors Over Ten Years at the Bachelor Brothers’ B&B 26 Hector: A Legacy of Eggcups 29 Brief Lives: Wendy 34 Virgil: The Recovering Heart 36 Brief Lives: Gordon 42 Hector: On Love and Skincare 47 Brief Lives: Carl 51 Virgil: A Vigil 54 Virgil’s List of Books for When You’re Feeling Low 61 Hector: One More Year 63 Hector’s List of Favourite Authors for the Bath 71 Virgil: What Gets Left Behind 73 Brief Lives: Sophy 81 Hector: The Songs of Solomon Solomon 83 Recipe: Muffins without Peer 94 Virgil: Now We Are Two 95 Brief Lives: Thomas 104 Hector: The Morning After 108 Brief Lives: Beth 115 Virgil: Grace Abounding 121 A Poem by Solomon Solomon: The Tiger Says Grace 128 Hector: Tired and Feathered 129 Brief Lives: Kevin 138 Virgil: Envoi 144 // D is for bachelors, and the wonderful dinners they pull out of their cupboards with such dining room aplomb and kitchen chaos/’ M. F.

K.

This is a short excerpt from the opening of “” by Unknown, quoted for review and introduction purposes. All rights belong to the copyright holders.

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