Love Like Drowning – Carson Wulff

Concerned my teachers. Was very quiet. Didn’t talk to anyone. Picked up bugs on the playground. Talked to myself. Kept to myself. Would barely speak if another kid did try to talk to me.” “Oh, what a shame we didn’t go to the same school. We would’ve been best friends,” Sinclair grins. “I always had a blast with kids like you. My favorite thing was when I’d pay them a genuine compliment and they’d start crying because they thought I was making fun of them.”

Sinclair laughs, as if remembering actual instances of this. Gregory doesn’t know what to say–he… there’s no way Sinclair would’ve liked him back then, he was even worse than he is now– And… “The trick is just to keep pestering the introverts. Eventually they start to believe you actually want to talk to them,” Sinclair says with a glint of humor in his eyes.

It… Worked on adult Gregory, didn’t it? Gregory shrinks on the barstool somewhat, embarrassed. What would his life have been like if he’d met Sinclair in elementary school, if he’d actually had a friend growing up? Someone to stand up for him, to be on his side, to listen to him and smile at him, and…

“Hey, hey, what’s wrong?” Sinclair asks, something like actual concern on his face before he seems to draw some conclusion and a soft smile replaces the concern. “Hey, don’t cry, we’re friends now–more than that! And it’s better this way, I don’t want to know how badly I would’ve corrupted you if we met as children. You’re perfect the way you are!” Gregory buries his face in his hands and cries outright, unable to stop the emotion from rising in his chest.

His fingers hurt. His heart hurts. So badly, so badly–he can’t, he can’t breathe– “Shh, shh,” Sinclair hushes, winding an arm around Gregory’s shoulders, rubbing his arm in an attempt to soothe him. Gregory tenses and then melts into the touch, leans into Sinclair’s body. It feels safe. Comforting. Like kissing Sinclair in the clearing had felt. Like sitting next to him in the diner had felt.

No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review. OceanofPDF.com To Jo ‘Gatobob’ Techsmith, Thank you for the inspiration and the freedom to figure out what parts of myself I’m allowed to rip out and put on a page and still call my own.

OceanofPDF.com AUTHOR’S NOTE: (A WARNING, WITH LOVE) This is a work of fiction by a queer, neurodivergent author that contains heavy mental health themes (particularly c-ptsd, anxiety and past trauma including self-harm and suicidal ideation). The nature of a captive/captor relationship makes consent inherently dubious in fiction, though consent is always present in this fictional context. This work should only be read by adults who feel confident that they will not be negatively influenced or harmed by difficult subject matter.

The gore and violence is extreme and romanticized. Despite the horror, this is romance. A full and extensive list of content warnings can be found at the back of this book. OceanofPDF.com CONTENTS I. Friend 1. Mess 2. Walk 3. Call 4. Promise 5. Locks 6. Screwdriver 7. Bones 8.

Diner 9. Fork 10. Basement 11. Barrel 12. Restraint 13. Consent 14. First 15. Symmetry II. Home 16. Stitch 17. Choice 18. Brother 19. Sister 20. Bloom 21. Shower 22. Kindness 23. Blood 24. Sleep 25. Garden 26. Pet 27. Bathtub 28. Release 29. Self-Harm 30. Condition III. Family 31. Doorbell 32. Foregone Conclusion 33. Love 34. Home 35. Real 36. Favorite 37. Friend 38. Father 39. Forever 40. Simple 41. Room 42. Applause 43. Heart 44. Consequences 45.

Happiness 46. Trauma 47. Attached 48. Forgiveness 49. Lake Acknowledgments Playlist Content Warnings Also by Carson Wulff OceanofPDF.com PART ONE FRIEND OCEANOFPDF.COM CHAPTER 1 MESS Gregory buys a remote cabin in the woods for a reason: he wants as little contact with other miserable, putrid human beings as possible. Tolerating his own existence is bad enough. He uses the modest trust fund his shitty parents gave him to buy it. The money was supposed to be for college. They weren’t happy. He buys solar panels and expensive batteries to sustain power at all times so that his aquariums can be kept running even when the lines go down.

Gregory himself could have done without power entirely. He could have lived by candlelight and sunlight and moonlight. Sustained from well water and provisions. But the fish–the fish can’t thrive like that. No, the fish need their filters running, their heaters, their lights. Every inch of his small cabin is stacked floor to ceiling with tanks of all sizes slotted together in perfect symmetry on their shelves, glowing with ambient light.

That’s all the light he needs, the glow of photons submerged in gallons and gallons of water.

This is a short excerpt from the opening of “” by Unknown, quoted for review and introduction purposes. All rights belong to the copyright holders.

Book Information

• Unique ID: 13685af1ddef6b37
• File Extension: .pdf
• File Size: 4,741,516 bytes (4.522 MB)
• Title: –
• Author: Unknown
• Pages: 750
• Language: English (en)

Reading & Word Statistics

• Estimated Reading Time: 1115.97 minutes
• Total Words: 223,194
• Total Characters: 1,296,620
• Average Words per Page: 297.59
• Average Characters per Page: 1728.83

Most Frequent Words

gregory (4349), sinclair (3781), like (1525), gregory’s (1006), it’s (852), sinclair’s (763), he’s (680), back (635), know (559), face (538), doesn’t (526), now (502), one (495), right (487), want (483), even (470), gregory’s (467), time (461), he’s (457), himself (429), something (425), eyes (420), it’s (403), sinclair’s (402), much (392), still (380), never (376), people (366), says (361), can’t (347), way (347), against (346), around (343), away (333), think (332), going (327), get (318), doesn’t (314), body (303), don’t (300), really (300), head (297), see (286), look (283), always (282), ever (282), good (281), wants (278), make (278), hand (267), fingers (266), hard (263), morgan (250), asks (246), life (235), hands (235), can’t (235), man (232), mouth (232), long (226), let (225), you’re (224), room (223), okay (221), i’m (215), maybe (212), anything (209), enough (208), trying (206), things (206), looks (205), inside (202), sure (202), thought (200), heart (198), hair (198), feel (197), water (197), makes (196), phone (196), chest (194), person (193), whole (193), first (192), that’s (191), there’s (191), nothing (191), julian (191), bed (190), he’d (188), isn’t (187), knows (187), feels (185), need (174), keep (174), someone (173), didn’t (171), don’t (170), family (168), basement (165).

PDF Download