Discovering Your Communication Type – Jason VanRuler

—Ephesians 4:29 I guess I feel like no one has ever really listened to me.” Sandra had tears running down her cheeks as she shared this sentiment with the group of couples that surrounded her in folding chairs, leaning in and listening intently. We had spent the day talking about how to strengthen relationships and better connect, and Sandra was finally starting to open up to the group. “It just always feels as though—” Just then Sandra was interrupted by the crumpling of a bag of Doritos as her husband, Doug, stood to throw away his empty chip bag and sneak out to the bathroom.

As everyone looked at Doug, he apologized for his less than ninja-like exit but clearly did not grasp what had just happened. As the door closed, it was clear that not only had the moment passed, but Sandra had now shut down as she said, “It doesn’t matter. I’m not sure what I was going to say now.” It was painfully obvious that Doug had missed a chance to connect with Sandra on a deeper level. And while this was most likely unintentional on his part, the unfortunate truth is that over time, missed connections can lead to mistrust and a belief that connection is impossible.

As a therapist, I have a front-row seat to opportunities for connection that are either met or missed. I have sat countless times in front of a couple, group, or corporate team as someone teed up a perfect opportunity for connection only for it to be fumbled, whether intentionally or unintentionally. If paths lead to connection, off-ramps lead to disconnection. They are the stops, sidetracks, and storms on the path to connection that impede progress, cause injury, or worse. Take a moment and think about what makes you feel frustrated, hurt, or upset when communicating with someone.

What is it about those experiences that leads you to feel that way?

Discovering Your Communication Type Copyright © 2026 by JVR Counseling LLC Published by Zondervan, 3950 Sparks Drive SE, Suite 101, Grand Rapids, MI 49546, USA. Zondervan is a registered trademark of The Zondervan Corporation, L.L.C., a wholly owned subsidiary of HarperCollins Christian Publishing, Inc. Requests for information should be addressed to [email protected]. Zondervan titles may be purchased in bulk for educational, business, fundraising, or sales promotional use. For information, please email [email protected]. ISBN 978-0-310-37045-1 (audio) ISBN 978-0-310-37044-4 (ebook) Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Names: VanRuler, Jason, 1980- author Title: Discovering your communication type : the 5 paths to deeper connections and stronger relationships / Jason VanRuler.

Description: Grand Rapids, MI : Zondervan Books, [2026] Identifiers: LCCN 2025054206 (print) | LCCN 2025054207 (ebook) | ISBN 9780310370420 trade paperback | ISBN 9780310370444 ebook Subjects: LCSH: Interpersonal relations—Religious aspects—Christianity Classification: LCC BV4509.5 .V36 2026 (print) | LCC BV4509.5 (ebook) LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2025054206 LC ebook record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2025054207 Epub Edition January 2026 9780310370444 Unless otherwise noted, Scripture quotations are taken from the ESV® Bible (The Holy Bible, English Standard Version®). Copyright © 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

Used by permission. All rights reserved. Any internet addresses (websites, blogs, etc.) and telephone numbers in this book are offered as a resource. They are not intended in any way to be or imply an endorsement by Zondervan, nor does Zondervan vouch for the content of these sites and numbers for the life of this book. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means—electronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, or any other —except for brief quotations in printed reviews, without the prior permission of the publisher.

The author is represented by Tom Dean, Literary Agent with A Drop of Ink LLC, www.adropofink.pub. Without limiting the exclusive rights of any author, contributor or the publisher of this publication, any unauthorized use of this publication to train generative artificial intelligence (AI) technologies is expressly prohibited. HarperCollins also exercise their rights under Article 4(3) of the Digital Single Market Directive 2019/790 and expressly reserve this publication from the text and data mining exception.

This is a short excerpt from the opening of “” by Unknown, quoted for review and introduction purposes. All rights belong to the copyright holders.

Book Information

• Unique ID: 3cde88341a0e164c
• File Extension: .pdf
• File Size: 2,085,512 bytes (1.989 MB)
• Title: –
• Author: Unknown
• ISBN: 9780310370451, 9780310370444, 9780310370420
• Pages: 183
• Language: English (en)

Reading & Word Statistics

• Estimated Reading Time: 240.39 minutes
• Total Words: 48,078
• Total Characters: 281,044
• Average Words per Page: 262.72
• Average Characters per Page: 1535.76

Most Frequent Words

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