Dont Let Death Ruin Your Life – Jill Brooke

“I think I needed a father figure, and as an only child, he wanted a younger brother.” Now like brothers, John was Keith’s best man at his wedding. However, that doesn’t mean it’s hopeless for the child who doesn’t have this support system at home. My mother was so dependent on my father— she had never even balanced her own checkbook—and so self-absorbed in her grief that she was incapable of giving me a secure sense of the future.

I remember her yelling, “Your father is dead, and your life around here is different now.” As if I didn’t already know. Like many other children, my loss was aggravated by the inability of the surviving parent to function, which was exacerbated by the financial constraints my father’s death created. In retrospect, this experience has made me very self-reliant.

I think our parents teach us not only who we want to be, but also who we don’t want to be. My mother’s isolation partly stemmed from her having no safety net, no professional career or family close by. As a result, I have sought both a career and a husband who is part of a close clan.

My loss also forged a closeness to my brother that many of my friends lack. We only had each other. A study by Anna Freud following World War II found that children from concentration camps created families from their peer group out of necessity and need. I understand this. Normal rivalries are obliterated when your common goal becomes emotional survival. Clearly some crumble from the pressure. Yet others cobble together a sense of family and closeness even when little exists. So why do some people rebound, and others do not?

Within grief literature, the profile for a successful griever consists of several factors. First, the mourner must address these questions. What have I lost? What do I have left? What may be possible for me? The successful mourners look at possibilities for themselves. They allow themselves to experience all phases of the ordeal while looking for ways to find meaning from their loss.

“One’s perception of grief is a key factor,” says Dr. Joanne Jozefowski, a Massachusetts therapist. “Beliefs often lead to self-fulfilling prophecies. If grievers believe the process of grief can only have a negative outcome, they will be disheartened rather than helped. On the other hand, the belief that grief can lead to a positive outcome may give the griever enough courage to begin the journey.

The knowledge that strength and growth can be gained by fully experiencing grief can encourage a bereaved person.

PART ONE – The Power of Memory Chapter 1 – Introduction Chapter 2 – Keeping the Memories Alive Chapter 3 – Global Rituals to Keep Loved Ones Close Chapter 4 – Our Cultural Mythology: A Hidden Healer PART TWO – A Road Map Through Grief Chapter 5 – The Journey/It Hurts Chapter 6 – A Friend in Need Is a Friend Indeed Chapter 7 – The Internet Connection Chapter 8 – Writing and Art Therapy Chapter 9 – Silence Is a Sound Chapter 10 – Pleasurable Pursuits Chapter 11 – Professional Help Chapter 12 – Male and Female Differences in Grief Chapter 13 – A Child’s Grief Chapter 14 – The Shadow of Grief: Emotional Scars PART THREE – Finding Meaning from Loss Chapter 15 – The Link Between Loss and Greatness Chapter 16 – I Will Remember You Chapter 17 – Buried Treasure: How to Start a Family Genealogy PART FOUR – Family Politics Chapter 18 – Remarriage and Stepchildren Chapter 19 – Dealing with the Possessions of the Loved Ones Chapter 20 – Grandparent Rights Chapter 21 – Holiday Survival Kit PART FIVE – Making Memories Last Chapter 22 – What Memories We Actually Keep Chapter 23 – Love Letters Chapter 24 – Picture This: How to Take Family Pictures Chapter 25 – The Movie of Your Life: How to Make Family Videotapes PART SIX – Leaving a Legacy Chapter 26 – A Will to Live Chapter 27 – The Grande Finale Chapter 28 – Good-bye Is Not Forever APPENDIX – Achievers Who Lost a Parent Early in Life BIBLIOGRAPHY OceanofPDF.com Praise for Don’t Let Death Ruin Your Life “Jill Brooke breaks new ground in this excellent book: she provides us with a sense of direction and hope as we deal with our feelings, with our continuing bonds with the deceased, and with the changes we need to make in our lives.

” —Phyllis R. Silverman, Ph.D., author of Never Too Young to Know: Death in Children’s Lives “Jill Brooke has embraced life’s most difficult problem with grace and dignity. Her guide to help go through the loss of a loved one should find a place in every American’s home.”

This is a short excerpt from the opening of “” by Unknown, quoted for review and introduction purposes. All rights belong to the copyright holders.

Book Information

• Unique ID: 51b20b2c886eda70
• File Extension: .pdf
• File Size: 2,194,843 bytes (2.093 MB)
• Title: –
• Author: Unknown
• ISBN: 9780452282988
• Pages: 266
• Language: English (en)

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