Leadership Presence – Belle Linda Halpern And Kathy Lubar

Remember the empathy we discussed in the previous chapter? Find ways that you can connect yourself—your feelings, values, and strengths— with those you hear inside and behind the words of someone else. Ask yourself, “What’s similar in my life?” Or, “What touches or moves me in what this person is saying?”

Look for links and connections. However, take care that the links you discover within yourself don’t dominate your discussion. Kathy recently learned from a friend that his father was dying. To express her empathy, she men- tioned that her father had died only a few years ago. Several min- utes later she realized the entire conversation had shifted away from her friend’s father to her experience with her father’s death. Make the connection, if it’s appropriate, but don’t let the spot- light move off the other person.

Listen for values and strengths Besides feelings, listen as well for the speaker’s values and strengths. These can be personal or professional. Personal strengths might be maturity, enthusiasm, willingness to change, courage, compas- sion. Professional strengths might be good judgment, risk-taking, re- sults orientation, vision, networking skills. Values include anything the speaker considers important or holds dear. They might include achievement, contribution, creativity, fairness, excellence. Reaching Out rule #2: Acknowledge the person Express to the other person what you’ve heard in and beneath their words.

Reaching Out and Making Connections ❚113 Acknowledge feelings, values, and strengths We asked Marvin to listen as we described a business problem we faced and then to tell us what he heard about us in our descrip- tion. We described the problem: An Ariel Group account manager handling a client of ours was succeeding well but beginning to an- tagonize a key contact.

We wanted to keep the manager on the ac- count but had to head off problems with that contact. Marvin listened, asked a couple of questions, and said we probably had to change the account manager. No, we said. Don’t give us a solution. Tell us what you heard about us. We described the problem again. He listened and then told us what we had to tell the account manager to resolve the problem.

No, we said. That’s another solution. What about us? Who are we? What can you tell from what we’re saying? It took several tries, but Marvin finally was able to shut off the brilliant problem-solving part of his brain and tell us what he heard. He heard compassion in our description of our account man- ager’s problems. He identified some frustration and even anger in us at the demands of the client contact.

Belle Linda Halpern and Kathy Lubar Cofounders of The Ariel Group Praise for Leadership Presence “An entertaining twist on the typical interpersonal skills book.” —Publishers Weekly “Read Leadership Presence and give the gift of presence to all those you touch. Halpern and Lubar take a fresh approach to leadership by providing the tools to authentically express yourself as you genuinely create value with others.”

—Kevin Cashman, CEO, LeaderSource; author of Leadership from the Inside Out and Awakening the Leader Within “As a leader, you are always in the spotlight. Leadership Pres- ence teaches how to be masterful under that bright light . . . connecting more profoundly to those you lead and to your- self. A thought-provoking and highly practical guide to real- izing your leadership potential.” —Jay Conger, professor, London Business School; author of Building Leaders “The foundation of success in business (and in life) is the ability to authentically engage and connect with others.

Using the profession of acting as the perfect metaphor, this book is a masterful guide for achieving true leadership success. I loved the mix of personal stories from clients and well-known actors and found Leadership Presence to be a powerful teaching tool. This book isn’t just for business leaders, it’s for anyone who wants to bring more passion, empathy, and presence to all their relationships.

I highly recommend it!” —Cheryl Richardson, author of Take Time for Your Life and Stand Up for Your Life “Finally there is a book where the insights of theatre, transfor- mation, and organizational learning have been brought to- gether. Leaders of organizations have much to learn from those who have spent their lives understanding the nature of performance, keeping the beat going, and the power of truly showing up.

In the end, productive and humane institutions depend on the integration of art and commerce. This book is a great beginning.” —Peter Block, author of The Answer to How Is Yes, Stewardship, Flawless Consulting, and Empowered Manager “It is relatively easy to describe what makes a leader, it’s teach- ing people how to communicate the qualities of leadership that is difficult.

Leadership Presence does just that. It doesn’t just tell you what to do, it tells you how to do it.” —Mark C. Mazzarella, coauthor of Reading People and Put Your Best Foot Forward Leadership Presence Dramatic Techniques to Reach Out, Motivate, and Inspire Belle Linda Halpern and Kathy Lubar Cofounders of The Ariel Group AUTHORS’ NOTE To protect the privacy of our clients, most of the client stories herein have been disguised by changing names and industries.

This is a short excerpt from the opening of “” by Unknown, quoted for review and introduction purposes. All rights belong to the copyright holders.

Book Information

• Unique ID: 352481ab333796d8
• File Extension: .pdf
• File Size: 708,456 bytes (0.676 MB)
• Title: –
• Author: Unknown
• ISBN: 1101082739
• Pages: 305
• Language: English (en)

Reading & Word Statistics

• Estimated Reading Time: 423.81 minutes
• Total Words: 84,762
• Total Characters: 497,946
• Average Words per Page: 277.91
• Average Characters per Page: 1632.61

Most Frequent Words

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