{"id":259809,"date":"2026-07-13T17:15:18","date_gmt":"2026-07-13T14:15:18","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/1kitap1.com\/en\/escnctrl-steve-hollyman\/"},"modified":"2026-07-13T17:15:18","modified_gmt":"2026-07-13T14:15:18","slug":"escnctrl-steve-hollyman","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/1kitap1.com\/en\/escnctrl-steve-hollyman\/","title":{"rendered":"ESCnCTRL – Steve Hollyman"},"content":{"rendered":"
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I\u2019m resting the paper on top of a copy of the Wall Street Journal, for extra padding. I\u2019m trying to \u2018free write\u2019 \u2013 the point being that you\u2019re not meant to think about the words you\u2019re committing to the page. You\u2019re meant to just pour them out. It\u2019s a subconscious exercise, but it isn\u2019t working. The sheet of paper is still blank; perhaps as blank as my subconscious. I think my original intention, when I sat down, was to write some kind of letter to Emily.<\/p>\n

There\u2019s no way for me to show the letter to her, but it doesn\u2019t matter. It\u2019s more important for me to write the letter than it is for her to ever see it. I shut my eyes. Move the pen across the paper. Repeat for thirty seconds. Open my eyes and try to decipher the hieroglyphs in front of me.<\/p>\n

My handwriting is bad at the best of times. Writing with my eyes closed makes it even worse, but I can make out some of the words I\u2019ve written: Monday morning. Sunshine. Herald Tribune. Art Bar. Johnny\u2019s Bar. Perry Street. As I look at the words, I notice the fine blond hairs on my arms are standing on end.60 I use my mobile phone to take a photograph of the page. The word in my head is \u2018negatives\u2019.<\/p>\n

I turn the piece of paper over and begin writing on the reverse side. This time I keep my eyes open as I write, but I try not to read what I\u2019ve written, or even think about it. I write for around twenty minutes, barely pausing at all.<\/p>\n

When I\u2019ve finished, I quickly fold the piece of paper and put it in my pocket. My words are addressed to Emily. It seems unfair that I should know what they say before she does \u2013 and it is an injustice that she never will. Next thing I know, I\u2019m lying on the floor in my hotel room and trying to sleep, but I can\u2019t stop thinking about the argument Emily and I had over the video. I don\u2019t know why I\u2019m lying on the floor. It seems a few hours have passed and I might have been to a bar.<\/p>\n

I might be drunk and maybe I tried to get onto the bed but didn\u2019t make it. I don\u2019t remember exactly how the argument started, but she probably said something like, \u2018Vee, I need to talk to you,\u2019 or, \u2018Vee, I need to tell you something.\u2019 That\u2019s what she used to call me sometimes. Vee. And when she wrote it, she\u2019d use a single letter. Anyway, I probably said something like, \u2018Why, what\u2019s wrong?\u2019 And she probably told me to sit down. Bad news is always worse when someone prefaces it with \u2018I need to tell you something\u2019, or \u2018sit down\u2019.<\/p>\n

But I probably sat down anyway. And she probably said something like, \u2018Do you remember the video we made?\u2019<\/p>\n

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Crimson red horrorbath, tickertape parade, print-dust, white-suit rustle, click click click. This is a Crime Scene. Do Not Enter. Trevor V. M\u00e9nd\u00e9thi The Ruse Exists: Envision, Enact, Inflict OceanofPDF.com Foreword (or The Importance of the Carbon Copy) On 29 August 2012, at around seven thirty in the evening, someone broke into my flat. I\u2019d gone to the mini-supermarket at the train station round the corner to get more beer, and when I arrived home something felt different. It was as though an invisible force was tugging at my sleeve, trying to tell me someone had been there.<\/p>\n

Actually, \u2018broke into\u2019 is a misnomer. I\u2019d left the door unlocked while I was out, a bad habit but I always did it. Now I felt uneasy. I checked the bathroom, behind the bedroom door, even inside the wardrobe, expecting to find someone hiding. There was no one there now, thankfully, but there definitely had been. A manuscript I\u2019d been working on was missing and my laptop, which was on the coffee table, had been vandalised.<\/p>\n

As far as I could see, nothing else had been touched. As for the manuscript: for several years, I\u2019d been trying to be a writer. It wasn\u2019t going well. Multiple rejections had locked me into a serious case of writer\u2019s block, to the point where I was pretty much ready to give up. But suddenly, from somewhere, a new idea had arrived, and I\u2019d been working on it in a state of hypermania. In just over a week, I\u2019d written almost 14,000 words, and I had no idea where the fuck it was all coming from.<\/p>\n

My intention was just to get it all out and then refine it afterwards \u2013 I\u2019d even shown some of it to a writer friend for feedback. But there was a big problem: in the latest of my many attempts to \u2018get back into\u2019 writing, I\u2019d decided that my process would somehow be \u2018purer\u2019 and \u2018more organic\u2019 if I used a typewriter. I\u2019d bought a vintage one \u2013 an Olivetti Lettera 22 \u2013 online for \u00a350. Ribbons were readily available, so I\u2019d ordered enough to last me several years.<\/p>\n

I\u2019d written the whole story on that machine but \u2013 and I\u2019m utterly ashamed to admit this \u2013 I hadn\u2019t made a carbon copy of any of it. I called the police and explained what had happened. The next day, they visited me. They asked why I\u2019d left the door unlocked. They took notes. They asked if there was any chance I\u2019d simply misplaced my manuscript – which they referred to as \u2018the document\u2019.<\/p>\n

If there really had been a burglary, they reasoned, then why had the intruder left my guitars, my TV, my DVD player, my mobile phone untouched, yet taken an apparently worthless stack of paper? There were no fingerprints. They didn\u2019t hold out much hope of catching anyone.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

This is a short excerpt from the opening of “” by Unknown, quoted for review and introduction purposes. All rights belong to the copyright holders.<\/em><\/p>\n

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