{"id":261557,"date":"2026-07-13T18:26:26","date_gmt":"2026-07-13T15:26:26","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/1kitap1.com\/en\/goodbye-butterfly-calia-quinn\/"},"modified":"2026-07-13T18:26:26","modified_gmt":"2026-07-13T15:26:26","slug":"goodbye-butterfly-calia-quinn","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/1kitap1.com\/en\/goodbye-butterfly-calia-quinn\/","title":{"rendered":"Goodbye Butterfly – Calia Quinn"},"content":{"rendered":"
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\u201cTwenty Six days and I have to go back to hell. And now I get to count down every single one knowing you\u2019re running toward the fucking fire.\u201d She opens her mouth. I stop her with one word: \u201cDon\u2019t.\u201d I\u2019m shaking. Unraveling. I\u2019ve never felt this much and wanted it gone so bad because if I love her \u2014I lose her. That\u2019s what war is. It takes everything soft and makes it bleed. \u201cI\u2019m not scared of war,\u201d she says softly. I flinch. Not because of the words because of the conviction in them.<\/p>\n

She doesn\u2019t understand. She doesn\u2019t fucking get it. \u201cThen you\u2019ve never seen it.\u201d I turn back around, but it\u2019s not anger now. It\u2019s not even grief. It\u2019s terror. \u201cI\u2019m not scared of dying, Dax,\u201d she says. I walk toward her. Slowly. Like I\u2019m walking through a graveyard of my own choices.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m not scared of dying either,\u201d I whisper. \u201cBut I\u2019m fucking terrified of losing you.\u201d Her eyes water, and she looks away, but I grip her chin gently and force her to look at me. \u201cYou think I can watch you walk into that and just breathe through it?\u201d She\u2019s trembling. So am I. \u201cI can\u2019t even sleep without hearing the sound of bones snapping.<\/p>\n

I can\u2019t take a hot shower without smelling burning flesh. You want that?\u201d I whisper. \u201cYou think your fucking heart can survive that?\u201d \u201cThen why do you get to go?\u201d Her voice cracks. \u201cBecause I\u2019m already dead,\u201d I rasp. Her mouth parts. I step closer. \u201cEvery part of me that mattered died the first time I held a dying boy\u2019s hand and told him I\u2019d get him home.\u201d I reach up, press my hand to her chest.<\/p>\n

\u201cThis?\u201d I whisper. \u201cThis still beats. This still feels. You think it\u2019s fair to offer that up to a war that\u2019ll chew you up and spit you back in pieces?\u201d Her eyes close, and I feel her breathing stagger under my palm. \u201cI didn\u2019t ask for this,\u201d I murmur. \u201cI didn\u2019t ask for you to come into my life and start fixing things I didn\u2019t know were broken. I didn\u2019t ask to feel again.\u201d \u201cBut you did,\u201d she whispers. \u201cYou felt me.\u201d I nod.<\/p>\n

Once. Twice. Then I drop to my knees in front of her like she\u2019s my altar and I\u2019m the fucking sinner begging for grace. \u201cI feel you in my fucking bones, butterfly.\u201d Her hands cradle my face. I let her. For a second. Just a second because the next words cut me wide open. \u201cI\u2019m going anyway,\u201d she whispers. \u201cBecause if I can stop even one man from dying alone, I\u2019ll never regret it.\u201d Tears hit my cheeks. Not mine.<\/p>\n

Hers but she doesn\u2019t let go of me.<\/p>\n

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This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and events are products of the author\u2019s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental. Cover design: [Dawn Art] Trigger Warnings: This novel contains themes of trauma, PTSD, grief, emotional intensity, and dark romance elements intended for mature readers.<\/p>\n

Reader discretion is advised. For more information, visit: www.caliaquinnauthor.com or follow on TikTok: @caliawritesromance First Edition: 2025 United Kingdom OceanofPDF.com To everyone who stayed a little too long because you believed in someone who couldn\u2019t meet you there. OceanofPDF.com \u201cHe wasn\u2019t mine anymore. But I didn\u2019t learn that until it already broke me.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u2014 CALIA QUINN OceanofPDF.com Author Note I almost didn\u2019t write this book. Not because I didn\u2019t love the story, but because there were pieces of it I didn\u2019t know how to touch without bleeding. There are parts of me scattered through these pages \u2014 the parts I spent years trying to bury, ignore, minimise, excuse. The parts that learned to cling to apologies that weren\u2019t real and promises that were never meant for me.<\/p>\n

Everyone has a version of Dax in their life. Mine wasn\u2019t noble. He wasn\u2019t gentle. He didn\u2019t come home different because life broke him \u2014 he came home the same man who taught me how small I could feel. My \u2018Dax\u2019 wasn\u2019t a good man in a bad situation. He was a controlling one. A narcissist. A master at rearranging my reality until I couldn\u2019t recognise myself.<\/p>\n

He didn\u2019t apologise for the hurt he caused\u2026 and on the rare days he did, he found new ways to do it again. His blue eyes weren\u2019t soft. They weren\u2019t sad. They weren\u2019t the eyes of a broken boy trying to be better. They were cold, calculating, cruel \u2014 the kind of eyes that could make you feel loved at 10am and worthless by lunchtime, and convince you both things were your fault.<\/p>\n

Some days I still don\u2019t know how I survived him. Some days I still find versions of myself he carved out and left empty. This book isn\u2019t about him. But it came from the damage he left behind. From the girl who wasn\u2019t allowed to speak without being punished.<\/p>\n

From the girl who learned to apologise for things she didn\u2019t do. From the girl who stayed because she thought love meant enduring. From the girl who believed \u201cit will get better\u201d long after it should\u2019ve been obvious that it wouldn\u2019t. I didn\u2019t write Goodbye Butterfly to romanticise pain.<\/p>\n

I wrote it because pain is what taught me to leave. Because grief is what taught me to heal. Because I needed to give myself a story where someone breaks\u2026 and still finds a way to breathe after.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

This is a short excerpt from the opening of “” by Unknown, quoted for review and introduction purposes. All rights belong to the copyright holders.<\/em><\/p>\n

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