Figment – Glen Binger

“So what of it? I’m weak-minded, you can say it.” I broke eye contact and looked at the kitchen tiles below our feet. They were grey and white and no longer reflective. My fingernails seemed colorless. I sighed, clenching my eyelids some more. “Hmm. Then I guess you’re stuck here.” I felt dizzy. So dizzy that I needed to lie down; death by orange juice O.D. Rooney’s mustache grew blurry and cold and empty of any characteristic.

“Roo-” I managed to spit, “Roo-knee…” The tiles felt icy against my chest. At least, before my nervous system disappeared. OceanofPDF.com Chapter 5 – four years strong I woke up in a soft hammock this time. My bed. My chest was no longer goosebumped with scabs but a rich bacon aroma nestled my nosehairs. I almost tumbled out leaning over the silky, reinforced edge. Rooney poked his head around the corner. “Jacobs! You’re awake! Fantastic!” I wanted to be mad at him. I wanted to be so badly.

But I couldn’t. His face was too warm. His mustache too much like home. Instead, I smiled and asked “What happened?” as if I’d just woken up from a one night stand with the freshman hottie from Astronomy 101. “Yous passed out.” His mustache glowed. “Yeah? I remember hitting the floor,” I said, massaging my shoulder. “How long was I out?”

“Two years.” Rooney nodded. I laughed. “No, really?” The corners of his mustache curled up, revealing that he did, in fact, have an upper lip. “Aaahhheeee… gotcha!” He pointed a finger-gun at me. “Really? Come on, man!” I regained vertigo and sat up further. “But really, how long?” He stopped smiling and turned back to leave the room. “Four years.” I fell out of the hammock and slammed the same shoulder into the (again) mirrored floorboards. “Rooney stop fucking with me,” I said, jumping up and following him into the neon hallway, rotating my arm like I was throwing a baseball.

“Unfortunately, I’m not. You were in a coma for three and a half years. I rounded up to soften the blow.” “Well, thanks, I guess.” I felt the warmth of his smile from over his shoulder, I followed close behind. “But years?! Are you sure you have correctly calculated your universe’s measurement for time to mine?” “Whoa, whoa! Calculation? Math? Don’t use that kinds of language in here.”

“Isn’t your time different from my time?” Rooney cocked his head sideways like poultry. “Now who’s being crazy?” We got to the kitchen – at least I thought it was the kitchen.

“If Herman Hesse hailed from New Jersey, he might have written Figment rather than Steppenwolf. Glen Binger twists and turns us through the real and the imagined until the heartbreaking end of this book.” – Mickey Hess, author of The Nostalgia Echo “Imagine a world where an angry Dr. Seuss castaway helps a young man navigate a journey/existential conundrum in a psychedelic forest somewhere far away from “home” and you start to scratch the surface of Figment.”

– Leonard P. Wilson, reformed writer and literary titan “A quick, charming read, Figment takes you along an electric Kool-Aid ride through one man’s imagination which will warm your heart, but leaves the cheese at home and just coats it with chocolate.” – Sam Cicero, Editor of Lo-Fidelity “This book is like if Dr. Seuss was writing for our generation – hilarious, insane and really heartfelt.” – Milo Stevens, international writer and sometimes photographer OceanofPDF.com Acknowledgements This is a work of fiction.

All names and events are used in a fictional manner and any resemblance is purely coincidental and completely unintentional. The beliefs and opinions expressed here are not intended to reflect that of the author or any entities involved in the creation and publication of this work. Enjoy. A special thank you to: Mickey Hess, Milo Stevens, Leonard P. Wilson, Sam Cicero, Andrew Kaspereen, Mark Entwistle, Kurt Gassner, Todd Binger, Allison Ripoll, and Tico.

Your imagination is the most important tool you own. Don’t ever lose it. OceanofPDF.com for my friends OceanofPDF.com “Reason is intelligence exercising. Imagination is intelligence with an erection.” – Victor Hugo OceanofPDF.com Chapter 1 – a sinking reality The other night I dreamt my teeth fell out. Not all at once – just one by one in sporadic dental chaos.

I’d be eating a sandwich or tending hygiene. No pain, just teeth literally detaching from my skull. I awoke mouth full of pillow and a gapless smile. No loose dentals. My subsequent routine ran otherwise normally. Woke up. Breakfast. Packed lunch. Showered. Drove to work. At work; looked busy. Filed papers. Walked around. Left work. No friends at happy hour. Finished beer. Left happy hour. Drank beer, watched TV, played video games, drank more beer, watched TV, dreaded the five-day, American work week.

Life. Before falling asleep on repeat, my dirty apartment nagged me. I hadn’t cleaned in a while, probably due to apathetic lethargies. Yet, for some reason unbeknownst to anyone that knows me, I started cleaning. At least, briefly. The clothes were full of cold, piled along the wall, insulating my shitty apartment. It didn’t take long for me to realize their definition of me; who I was.

It was my own damn fault. Fate happened to me and I did nothing to stop it. I had once admired what wonderful human beings the people around me were – their glory, their success, their god damn smiles.

This is a short excerpt from the opening of “” by Unknown, quoted for review and introduction purposes. All rights belong to the copyright holders.

Book Information

• Unique ID: 6636423b7281d94c
• File Extension: .pdf
• File Size: 689,405 bytes (0.657 MB)
• Title: –
• Author: Unknown
• Pages: 91
• Language: English (en)

Reading & Word Statistics

• Estimated Reading Time: 133.32 minutes
• Total Words: 26,665
• Total Characters: 148,714
• Average Words per Page: 293.02
• Average Characters per Page: 1634.22

Most Frequent Words

rooney (188), like (129), said (128), back (104), yous (103), one (77), didn’t (74), eyes (69), know (62), even (56), get (55), time (54), i’m (54), still (54), felt (50), something (48), don’t (46), mustache (45), wasn’t (44), rooney’s (44), i’d (43), marshall (42), laughed (41), imagination (40), myself (40), want (38), turned (38), anything (37), right (37), home (36), smile (36), things (36), made (35), first (35), hand (35), jacobs (35), face (34), thought (34), universe (34), jiblets (34), you’re (33), now (32), looked (32), that’s (32), head (32), good (32), way (31), asked (31), wanted (30), kay (30), okay (30), see (29), smiled (28), imagine (27), man (27), really (27), knew (27), maybe (27), sure (26), two (26), can’t (26), around (25), think (25), come (25), came (25), it’s (25), stood (25), imagined (24), work (24), against (24), sat (24), room (24), piggles (24), com (23), couldn’t (23), took (23), going (23), got (22), never (22), oceanofpdf (21), nothing (21), stop (21), yes (21), mean (21), chair (21), least (20), long (20), mind (20), little (20), much (20), heard (20), hair (20), light (20), cameron (20), purple (19), behind (19), well (19), i’ve (19), seemed (19), say (19).

PDF Download