Finding Hope – Samantha Bushmills (1)

Conscious that I’m repeating myself solely because I’m impatient for her decision. I bite my tongue. I’m being unfair. Her lips part, and I notice her lashes are already moist. “Carlo, I’d never choose to be away from you.” Her voice cracks with pent-up emotion. “I’ve spent years fantasizing about seeing you again.

Dreaming of hearing your voice, or smelling your cologne, but . . . all this is so much after having so little.” The burning sensation at the base of my skull, which appeared with her earlier rebuff, flares. Rejection isn’t an emotion I’ve ever handled well, even though I’m so practiced at receiving it. Nobody I know would consider me fragile, yet, my entire life, I’ve only ever wanted to be loved. Her delaying tactic earlier, no matter how understandable, poked at an old wound that’s been bleeding for years.

Unable to hope, only to lose her again, I ignore her remark, unsure how to respond, and lead her toward the kitchen. Her stare burns into my back as I make mindless chitchat about nonsense. My behavior is out of character. But somehow, I’ve got to protect my bleeding heart. Chess trails a couple of paces behind me until I stop outside the main bedroom. This moment feels epic. “The architect designed the entire house around this room. I’ve never slept here. Nobody has.”

I always sensed Chess’ presence the most in this room, and being in here was too overwhelming for sleep. Cracking open the door, I push it wide, allowing her to enter ahead of me. Lemon oil fills the air. My mind has always associated the scent with Chess and happy times. She steps into the sun-drenched room.

She gasps. “It’s like standing inside the horizon.” “I chose the land for that reason,” I say. “The concept is that the occupant can watch the sunrise and sunset from bed. The clock you always followed.” Her brilliant, beaming smile is watery. She wraps her arms around herself.

This is the work of fiction, and the view expressed herein and the sole responsibility of the author. Likewise, certain characters, places, and incidents are the product of the author’s imagination, and any resemblance to actual persons, either living or dead, or actual events or locales, is entirely coincidental. Copyright © 2025 by Samantha Bushmills All rights reserved. No portion of this book may be reproduced in any form without written permission from the author, except as permitted by EU copyright law.

Book Cover by Samantha Bushmills Cover Image: Freepik First edition 2025 OceanofPDF.com Contents Author’s Note Dedication Chapter One Chapter Two Chapter Three Chapter Four Chapter Five Chapter Six Chapter Seven Chapter Eight Chapter Nine Chapter Ten Chapter Eleven Chapter Twelve Chapter Thirteen Chapter Fourteen Chapter Fifteen Chapter Sixteen Chapter Seventeen Chapter Eighteen Chapter Nineteen Chapter Twenty Chapter Twenty-One Chapter Twenty-Two Chapter Twenty-Three Chapter Twenty-Four Chapter Twenty-Five Chapter Twenty-Six Chapter Twenty-Seven Chapter Twenty-Eight Chapter Twenty-Nine Chapter Thirty Chapter Thirty-One Chapter Thirty-Two Chapter Thirty-Three Chapter Thirty-Four Chapter Thirty-Five Chapter Thirty-Six Chapter Thirty-Seven Chapter Thirty-Eight Chapter Thirty-Nine Chapter Forty Chapter Forty-One Chapter Forty-Two Chapter Forty-Three Chapter Forty-Four Chapter Forty-Five Chapter Forty-Six Chapter Forty-Seven Chapter Forty-Eight Chapter Forty-Nine Acknowledgments About the Author OceanofPDF.com Author’s Note **Warning: This book is intended for mature readers, 18+.

Finding Hope is an erotic romance with dark themes and emotionally intense subject matter that may be distressing for some readers. This book includes, but is not limited to: Trauma related to parental neglect Kidnapping, long-term captivity. Forced marriage Non-consensual and coercive sexual situations Sexual violence (implied, non-graphic) Psychological and emotional abuse Human trafficking themes Profanity Drug and alcohol use Violence and murder (on-page memories and off-page events) Reproductive and medical coercion Grief, loss, and presumed death Sexual content including scenes between men and memories of ménage relationships (MMF) Please proceed with care.

This story centers on survival, trauma, and recovery within a dark romantic framework. Do not read if these themes are uncomfortable for you. Thank you for prioritizing your mental health. OceanofPDF.com Dedication For anyone who has ever felt trapped— this story is a reminder that that all locked cages have a key. OceanofPDF.com “I Chapter One Carlo t’s not a fucking lollipop. Suck, don’t lick,” I snap, with irritation bleeding through my voice. The young woman kneeling before me doubles down on her efforts to satisfy, but I’m fairly certain we’re both aware she’ll fail miserably.

Her inability to stimulate me is not entirely her fault.

This is a short excerpt from the opening of “” by Unknown, quoted for review and introduction purposes. All rights belong to the copyright holders.

Book Information

• Unique ID: 47e1d647b909ae3a
• File Extension: .pdf
• File Size: 4,644,260 bytes (4.429 MB)
• Title: –
• Author: Unknown
• Pages: 369
• Language: English (en)

Reading & Word Statistics

• Estimated Reading Time: 626.5 minutes
• Total Words: 125,301
• Total Characters: 686,394
• Average Words per Page: 339.57
• Average Characters per Page: 1860.15

Most Frequent Words

i’m (582), carlo (533), chess (482), back (423), it’s (422), he’s (383), like (376), spencer (375), don’t (315), kenzo (310), time (294), eyes (293), i’ve (292), hand (278), says (259), say (258), she’s (249), never (244), need (228), want (224), head (223), can’t (217), get (215), one (201), see (199), voice (191), around (184), i’ll (181), going (179), now (175), years (170), even (165), sophie (165), take (162), face (161), door (160), benito (160), last (154), you’re (153), know (151), told (149), first (147), i’d (144), way (137), love (136), doesn’t (134), long (134), away (134), myself (133), didn’t (132), carlo’s (132), still (129), words (129), room (127), there’s (126), look (125), trying (124), toward (122), mouth (121), francesca (121), little (117), tell (116), smile (115), two (114), moment (114), between (113), make (113), much (113), phone (113), something (113), house (113), come (111), think (110), life (109), every (109), won’t (108), open (106), together (105), man (105), sure (105), enough (104), kenzo’s (104), call (103), ask (103), chapter (102), always (100), good (99), fingers (99), asks (98), spencer’s (96), that’s (96), stop (96), inside (96), nina (96), let (95), against (95), isn’t (94), day (94), right (93), place (93).

PDF Download