Flash Fiction Forward – James Thomas

Driving, they were silent. Twice she cracked the window to smoke a Winston. When they entered the city with its traffic, she smoked another. He let her out a block from her house, flicking his trunk lid open. They pecked each other’s lips, and she walked off with her backpack and duffel. An SUV pounded past him, down the empty street. In the rearview mirror he watched an old dog approach, sniffing her duffel, his lank tail wagging. David Galef I didn’t know whether to bring flowers, which don’t say much to someone from a basic subsistence culture.

But a raw beef- steak might come across as too suggestive, and I’d read somewhere that Neanderthals were supposed to be vegetarians. I opted for the middle road, a box of chocolates. I arrived just as the sun was sinking below the tree line. Glena lived in a cave by the edge of the forest and had, I’d heard, a more natural sense of time than those of us dominated by Rolexes and cell phones.

Still, she wasn’t there when I hurt my hand knocking on the cave entrance. I tried twice, the second time with my foot. Then I called out, emphasizing the glottal G I’d heard when her name was pro- nounced by the TransWorld Dating Agency. She appeared as if suddenly planted in front of me, barrel-chested and bandy-legged, not much taller than a high-cut tree stump. Her furry brown hair was matted with sweat, but she smiled in a flat-faced way as I held out the chocolate.

Grabbing the box, she ripped it open and crowed in delight. She stuffed several candies with their wrappers into her mouth and chewed vigorously. The agency had told me not to waste time with complicated verbal behavior, so I just pointed at her and myself and said, “Glena, Robert.” She nodded, then pointed to the chocolate and rubbed her belly. Such a primal response! Franklv, I’d grown tired of modern women and their endless language games. She offered me one of the remaining chocolates from the box, and I was touched: pure reciprocity, though she looked disappointed that I didn’t eat the wrappers.

I mimed eating and pointed away from the forest. I would take her out to dinner. Neanderthals, I recalled, were often on the cusp of starvation. She seemed to understand and followed me obediently as I led her to Chez Asperge, a small French-fusion-vegan restaurant not far from the woods.

Manufacturing by The Haddon Craftsmen, Inc. Book design bv Brooke Koven Production manager: Amanda Morrison Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Flash fiction forward : 80 very short stories / edited by James Thomas and Robert Shapard. — 1st ed. p. cm. ISBN-13: 978-0-393-32802-8 (pbk.) ISBN-io: 0393-32802-3 (pbk.) 1. Short stories, American. I. Thomas, James, date. II. Shapard, Robert, date.

PS648.S5F577 2006 813′. 010806 — dc22 2006009918 W. W. Norton & Company, Inc. 500 Fifth Avenue, New York, N.Y. 10110 www.wwnorton.com W. W. Norton & Company Ltd. Castle House, 75/76 Wells Street, London WiT 3QT 1234567890 CONTENTS Stories, John Edgar Wideman 9 Editors’ Note 11 Jumper Down, Don Shea 17 The Memory Priest of the Creech People, Paul Theroux 20 Sashimi Cashmere, Carolyn Forde 22 The Barbie Birthday, Alison Townsend 24 Sweet Sixteen, Gary D. Wilson 26 Before the Bath, Ismail Kadare 28 Baker’s Helper, Cynthia Anderson 31 Rumors of Myself, Steve Almond 34 Mandela Was Late, Peter Mehlman 36 Sleeping, Katharine Weber 40 Traditional Style Indian Garage, Chrystos 42 CONTENTS How to Set a House on Fire, Stace Budzko 46 The Jalapeno Contest, Ray Gonzalez 48 Currents, Hannah Bottomv 51 1951, Richard Bausch 53 Bullet, Kim Church 56 Consuming the View, Luigi Malerba 59 The Great Open Mouth Anti- Sadness, Ron Carlson 62 Things You Should Kiiow, A.

M. Homes 64 Rose, John Biguenet 68 Tiffany, Stacey Richter 71 The Fallguy’s Faith, Robert Coover 74 The Cats in the Prison Recreation Hall, Lydia Davis 76 Level, Keith Scribner 79 Blind Fish, Melanie Rae Thon 82 The Voices in My Head, Jack Handey 85 The Old Truth in Costa Rica, Lon Otto 88 Why You Shouldn’t Have Gone in the First Place, Samantha Schoech 90 Mythologies, R. L. Futrell 93 Reviving Pater, John Goulet 96 Bullhead, Leigh Allison Wilson 99 Accident, Dave Eggers 101 All Girl Band, Utahna Faith 103 J Never Looked, Donald Hall 105 My Date with Neanderthal Woman, David Galef 109 Fab 4, Jenny Hall 112 The Peterson Fire, Barn- Gifford 115 Words, John A.

McCaffrey 118 CONTENTS The Black City, Leonardo Alishan 121 Justice— A Beginning, Grace Paley 124 That Could Have Been You, Jim Heynen 127 The Wallet, Andrew McCuaig 130 How to End Up, Jennifer A. Howard 133 The Orange, Benjamin Rosenbanm 135 21, Jim Crace 137 Geometry Can Fail Us, Barbara Jacksha 139 To Reduce Your Likelihood of Murder, Ander Monson 141 Olivers Evolution, John Updike 143 The Doctor, Ann Hood 146 Crazy Glue, Etgar Keret 149 Pledge Drive, Patricia Marx 152 The Handbag, Michael Augustin 155 A Patriotic Angel, Mark Budman 157 What Were the White Things?

This is a short excerpt from the opening of “” by Unknown, quoted for review and introduction purposes. All rights belong to the copyright holders.

Book Information

• Unique ID: 00e82f3ec4cdb28f
• File Extension: .pdf
• File Size: 10,995,900 bytes (10.487 MB)
• Title: –
• Author: Unknown
• ISBN: 9780393328028, 0393328023
• Pages: 245
• Language: English (en)

Reading & Word Statistics

• Estimated Reading Time: 250.9 minutes
• Total Words: 50,179
• Total Characters: 325,558
• Average Words per Page: 204.81
• Average Characters per Page: 1328.81

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