From The Ashes – Alina Martyn

I question, trying to keep my tone even. Jade sighs and I can hear the tears in her voice. “If I’m not available at her beck and call, she says I’m not actually trying to form a friendship. If I don’t stay in the room at every available opportunity, then she complains I’m never there. She’s just… controlling my every move. I feel like I can’t even breathe when I’m in my own freaking room! I can’t do homework when I decide to because she wants to go do something.

I can’t sleep there most nights because she fucks any guy that looks at her and she kicks me out. I tried talking to her about it and she laughed, saying it was part of the experience. I just…” She sighs heavily and says, “I just want to be able to live how I want. I don’t want to feel trapped anymore and…

she’s got all these fucking expectations that when I don’t meet them, she’s pissed off at me.” I get why she’s so upset. She’s finally free from her mother in this regard, but now someone has already tried to occupy that controlling-bitch role in her life. Jade should be able to be free. She fought for it. She deserves it. Your home is supposed to be the place where you can truly relax and just be.

Not another place you have to put on a front. Typically, we already have to put on a mask everywhere else in life; your home should be the place where you can set the mask down. I wrap my arms around her shoulders, pulling her in for a hug and wishing I had more to offer her. “What can I do?”

Jade sobs and her forehead drops to my chest. “Nothing. This. All I need is you.” “Well, that’s easy then,” I say softly. “You’ll always have me.” “I’m sorry to bother you, but can I crash here tonight?” She looks up at me with a sad, hopeful smile. “You can stay here as much as you want. I’ll never tell you no.” “What if you get really annoyed with me?”

She chuckles through tears, but her grip on my waist tightens. “What if⁠—” “I’m not playing the ‘what-if’ game, darlin’.” I cut her off with a kiss on the forehead.

To everyone out there that’s gone through some bad shit and clawed their way back to center. Just know that it gets better, I see you, and that you’re loved. Trigger Warnings For a complete list of trigger warnings (there is a definite list with this one, readers. Better hold onto your hats), please check here first! https://docs.google.com/document/d/1- eQU4YwT1HMwH9ECfqWeWpM8KXNzq5WIuseEGhGXkOM/edit? usp=sharing Make sure that you’re okay with what might be in this book before you start.

It’s so fucking important to take care of yourself and your mental health. Okay, did you go check? Are you okay with them? Enter at your own risk. Go on, you know you want to. (But really, do what you need to. Your mental health matters.) Jade WHY THE FUCK am I here? I ask myself. This is the thing everyone tells you not to do. Don’t go to a party where there is alcohol with people you don’t trust.

Don’t trust someone who has shown you their true colors. Don’t put yourself in a situation where you’re reliant on someone to get home, especially when you’re hours from home. And I’ve somehow done all of those. In one fell swoop. Sarah’s driving us in her car since my mom doesn’t trust me with one.

She much prefers Sarah to me anyway, so it’s not surprising that she was able to talk Sarah’s mother—my mom’s fake best friend—into having her drive. That way, I couldn’t come home. I was forced to go along with whatever Sarah decided to do. The sun has almost set, leaving only a sliver of pink and red in the sky.

It felt like the sun was going away so the forgiveness and cover of darkness could shine. I have such a bad feeling about this. “I really don’t want to go,” I whisper to Sarah, the girl who has been forced to bring me along with her to a college party. Sarah rolls her eyes, but paints on a smile that seems genuine.

“You’ll be fine. I’ll be there the whole time.” “I’ve never actually gone to a house party,” I mutter, picking at my thumbnail nervously. How’d I let Mom force me into this? When will it end? Sarah whispers something under her breath. I look at her, wanting to ask her to repeat what she said, and find she’s saying a small prayer with the most annoyed look on her face. Why the fuck am I here? I think, not for the first time. Sarah’s mom and my mom had conspired together and basically forced us on this grown-up playdate.

My mom is notorious for oversharing with others about how her only daughter is such an ‘interesting and reserved introvert that needs help getting out and about.’ I have to bite my tongue every single time I hear that. I’m nineteen years old, not seven.

This is a short excerpt from the opening of “” by Unknown, quoted for review and introduction purposes. All rights belong to the copyright holders.

Book Information

• Unique ID: b203ec32e10a850d
• File Extension: .pdf
• File Size: 1,499,019 bytes (1.43 MB)
• Title: –
• Author: Unknown
• Pages: 416
• Language: English (en)

Reading & Word Statistics

• Estimated Reading Time: 480.93 minutes
• Total Words: 96,186
• Total Characters: 505,930
• Average Words per Page: 231.22
• Average Characters per Page: 1216.18

Most Frequent Words

i’m (673), asher (568), like (526), jade (452), back (412), know (395), it’s (392), don’t (386), want (329), eyes (305), get (280), going (279), he’s (272), she’s (268), fucking (259), one (238), roxie (223), hand (218), see (215), fuck (211), feel (211), head (206), around (200), now (193), time (188), you’re (177), look (175), can’t (175), right (175), face (174), make (171), way (170), need (162), say (159), think (156), that’s (153), i’ve (153), hands (151), sure (150), really (150), i’ll (149), take (146), much (144), good (144), let (139), even (136), girl (133), against (131), door (130), okay (125), doesn’t (122), didn’t (122), arms (117), says (116), love (114), looks (113), room (112), anything (111), baby (110), every (109), little (109), something (107), hunter (106), side (104), trying (104), come (103), looking (103), fingers (102), tell (101), never (100), ask (98), there’s (94), chest (94), hair (93), together (92), lips (91), first (90), someone (90), smile (90), myself (88), i’d (88), move (87), open (86), hear (85), makes (85), got (84), voice (84), kyle (84), try (84), softly (84), away (83), help (83), mine (83), asks (78), always (78), hard (78), last (77), start (76), well (76), pulling (76).

PDF Download