Abstract Love – Aileen Carter

“Arianna, I’m just trying to help.”, he says, his voice strained with the effort to hide his frustration. “You’ve helped enough. Thank you.”, I reply, keeping my gaze fixed on the mug, refusing to meet his eyes. “Arianna, did someone hurt you? Did they push you? What happened?”, he presses, unwilling to let it go. And it’s just too much. “Stop pushing me!”, I snap, tears stinging my eyes – this time hot and angry.

“I am trying to help you!”, he fires back, his voice rising to match mine. I flinch and bolt upright from the sofa, my body rigid. “Leave.”, I whisper, arm outstretched, finger aimed at the door. He hesitates, mouth open like he might protest. “Arianna …” His voice softens, pleading now, but I shake my head.

“No. Leave. Now.” My voice is flat, cold. And I don’t move until he finally turns and walks out, leaving me in silence. 1kitap1.com/en lie awake in my bed, restless. I toss from side to side, my thoughts looping endlessly back to the shed – to that raw, crushing fear and desperation. The only thing that offers me a little bit of distraction is the memory of my argument with Oscar that spun out of control. Maybe I did overreact a bit, but opening up about my stalker situation?

It … was just too much. I really don’t know how I could’ve handled it better. Suddenly, my phone buzzes and I freeze. I’ve already blocked that unknown number, so it can’t be them again … right? Even stalkers need a break sometimes, don’t they? My heart rattles in my chest as I reach for my phone, hands shaking. Relief surges through me when I see Oscar’s name glowing on the screen. Oscar: Hey. I’m sorry for pushing too hard.

You’ve already been through so much, and I shouldn’t have tried to make you relive those memories. I was just furious about everything that happened – and the thought of someone hurting or harassing you made me lose my cool. I’m truly sorry, Arianna. I blink in surprise. That’s … unexpectedly thoughtful. I can feel my anger toward him soften, melting away as I start to type my reply.

Arianna: Hey, I’m so sorry for snapping earlier! It was just a lot today 🙁 We’re okay, right? Oscar: Of course. Oscar: So, why are you still up? I thought I wouldn’t hear from you until morning 🙂 Arianna: I could ask you the same thing 🙂 Oscar: Couldn’t sleep. Ended up reading instead Arianna: What are you reading? Oscar: Crime and Punishment Arianna: Oh, I love Dostoevsky!!

Enjoy the Silence – Depeche Mode Somebody’s Watching Me – Rockwell So Happy I Could Die – Lady Gaga Oscar’s songs: Monster – Lady Gaga Rasputin – Boney M. Eat me alive – Artemas Super Freak – Rick James I WANNA BE YOUR SLAVE – Maneskin Paparazzi – Lady Gaga 1kitap1.com/en I CHAPTER 1 –OSCAR One month before step into my hotel room and toss my coat over a chair.

The day has been thoroughly frustrating and now I feel utterly drained. Rain spills over London in sheets outside the window, and a long sigh escapes me. Fucking hell, my head is throbbing … I lie down on the bed, eyes closed, trying to recall those useless meditation sessions. The breathing exercises never help. On the contrary, my mind just accelerates in the silence, making my headache even worse.

I’ve lived in this state for more than a year now, but lately every night feels like I’m hitting a new low point. My patience is eroding bit by bit. My therapist says I fell into a void after selling my last company. That my mind craves a challenge but finds nothing to cling to. Maybe he’s right. Maybe he’s just labelling the obvious. Heaven knows I’ve tried everything – sports, music, chess, travelling, meditation.

I re-read the classics, learned every single poem in my collection by heart, desperate to feel something. Anything. Yet all I ever feel is the dull, pulsing pain behind my eyes, suffocating any hope of peace. The dark thoughts that have been swirling in my head for months return with cold fingers, crawling up my neck again.

Life has become boring and pointless, and my mind is asking that dangerous question again – why not fucking end it? I was never the type of person to do something when I didn’t see the point in it. And living has become the manifestation of suffering, a cage I’m trapped in, with no hope for escape. I shake my head sharply.

These thoughts aren’t helping. I push myself up, searching for any kind of distraction the room has to offer. At first, nothing grasps my attention. The wallpaper pattern? Boring. The wooden wardrobe? Generic garbage. Come on, something, I need something! A half-open drawer beside the bed catches my eye, more out of irritation than interest. I move to close it but pause, giving in to the impulse to pull it open instead.

Inside lies a Bible.

This is a short excerpt from the opening of “” by Unknown, quoted for review and introduction purposes. All rights belong to the copyright holders.

Book Information

• Unique ID: 35d4bcc2554c97d2
• File Extension: .pdf
• File Size: 1,640,401 bytes (1.564 MB)
• Title: –
• Author: Unknown
• Pages: 210
• Language: English (en)

Reading & Word Statistics

• Estimated Reading Time: 288.86 minutes
• Total Words: 57,771
• Total Characters: 315,874
• Average Words per Page: 275.1
• Average Characters per Page: 1504.16

Most Frequent Words

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