Dating 101 – Chantal Heide (1)

Your brain can fool you into seeing something in a way that’s completely false, convincing you that one line is longer than the other even though they’re both exactly the same. Ever look at a paragraph that was missing words, letters, or written backwards and had pretty much no problem reading it? Again, that’s your brain at work, filing in gaps for you so things make more sense.

We tend to believe things just because it seems right to believe them, but our initial assessments of what’s in front of our faces aren’t always on point. Using our minds to dig deeper helps us make the sort of decisions that create a lot of lasting happiness. “Just because you read it somewhere doesn’t mean it’s true!” My husband taught me this one, and I take it to heart when it comes to gauging what’s around me.

Especially human behaviour. Just because someone says something to me doesn’t mean I’ll believe the words coming out of their mouths, even if I really want to. That’s because I know my mind can trick me and fill in blanks just to give me a better experience.

It’ll take what someone has said to me, ask itself what wasn’t said that I would have liked to hear, and automatically give me the impression that I actually heard that. But… I could be wrong. And this is why observation of real behaviour, instead of what amounts to wishful thinking, is an important tool to use when analyzing interactions and deciding what’s meaningful in the long run. But observation takes time. It takes patience. It takes a willingness to allow emotions to fluctuate without using them as the deciding factors for your actions.

And it also takes insight, because without the proper “dictionary” you’re going to misinterpret a lot of the things you see. So what should you be looking for? Start by asking yourself how you’d like to be treated. We teach people how to treat us every minute of every day, and knowing yourself is the first step towards getting good at teaching others how to treat you in ways that feels respectful and enjoyable.

Once you know this you’re able to ask for your first meaningful behaviour – respecting your boundaries. Taking the time to get into your own heart, mind, and soul, and literally spelling out your boundaries, helps you stand up for them when you realize they’re being crossed. You might feel uncomfortable when someone you don’t know (or like) invades your personal space.

Copyright © 2018 by Chantal Heide All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other non-commercial uses permitted by copyright law. For permission requests, write to the publisher, addressed “Attention: Permissions Coordinator,” at the address below.

Chantal Heide www.canadasdatingcoach.com Ordering Information: Quantity sales. Special discounts are available on quantity purchases by corporations, associations, and others. For details, contact the publisher at the address above. Printed in Canada Chantal Heide. DATING 101 – UNDERSTANDING THE DRIVES, BEHAVIOURS, AND EMOTIONS BEHIND LOVE p. cm. ISBN 13 – 978-1986571845 ISBN 10 – 198657184x 1. Family and Relationships —Dating First Edition 14 13 12 11 10 / 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 OceanofPDF.com Other books by Chantal Heide Comeback Queen – 7 Steps to Making a Triumphant Return to Dating After Divorce Fake Love Need Not Apply – The Single Girls Guide To Avoiding Posers Losers Scammers And Predators Online No More Assholes – Your 7 Step Guide to Saying Goodbye to Guys and Finding The Real Man You’re Looking For After The First Kiss – Making Your First Year Together Ridiculously Awesome Fix That Shit – A Couples Guide To Getting Past The Sticky Stuff Say Yes To Goodness – 10 Steps To A Complete And Happy You OceanofPDF.com For my Tribe OceanofPDF.com Contents Acknowledgements Introduction Introduction For Parental Figures Phase 1 The Drives Chapter 1 Your Body On Love Chapter 2 The Biology Of Kissing Chapter 3 You’re A Mammal Chapter 4 What Your Animal Needs Chapter 5 Decoding Emotions Chapter 6 Opening The Emotional Release Valve Chapter 7 Using Your Brain To Regulate Emotions Chapter 8 Frequency And Why Self Talk Matters Chapter 9 Puzzle Pieces Chapter 10 The Truth About Monogamy Chapter 11 Porn, Rainbow Parties, And Stuff Like That Chapter 12 What’s Normal About Marriage?

Phase 2 The Behaviours Chapter 13 Resist Your Impulses Chapter 14 Recognizing Meaningful Behaviours Chapter 15 Why We Want To Pull In People Who Pull Away Chapter 16 Don’t Make Excuses For Other People Chapter 17 What Is Respect? Chapter 18 Bullying Chapter 19 What Is Sexual Abuse Of Power? Chapter 20 Always Question Mother Culture Chapter 21 Get Out Of Your Own Way Chapter 22 What Sort Of Monkey Will You Be?

Chapter 23 Double Standards, Social Media, And Self Esteem Chapter 24 What About Age Differences? Phase 3 The Feelings Chapter 25 Lost In Your Eyes Chapter 26 Love Is A Verb Chapter 27 Loving Me Is Loving You Chapter 28 What Is Harmony?

This is a short excerpt from the opening of “” by Unknown, quoted for review and introduction purposes. All rights belong to the copyright holders.

Book Information

• Unique ID: 51c7b84fdfea5342
• File Extension: .pdf
• File Size: 1,080,526 bytes (1.03 MB)
• Title: –
• Author: Unknown
• ISBN: 9781986571845, 198657184X
• Pages: 187
• Language: English (en)

Reading & Word Statistics

• Estimated Reading Time: 253.32 minutes
• Total Words: 50,664
• Total Characters: 287,634
• Average Words per Page: 270.93
• Average Characters per Page: 1538.15

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